Transmilitant FtM Wannabe

You Free Your Mind in Your Androgyny

Sun, 22 Aug 2010 07:09:56 GMT

Well apparently everyone is wondering whether I am a boy or a girl...
My small sect of male friends (who are my only current friends) seem to get a huge kick out of me being a "reverse trap" though they haven't actually used that particular wording. They just like trying to get me to ask a bunch of girls out and then oh "OHAY SHE'S GOT A VAG LOLOLOL". Which is... Yeah, funny... But... Makes me feel worse about my equipment since I have absolutely no desire to use it at all and am too afraid to go get a strap on or something.( Read more... )

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Japanese Girls Bar

Sat, 21 Aug 2010 02:18:19 GMT

I am currently drunk so sorry for typos.

I went to a Japanese titty bar. I am unsure what the actual english name for it is, but you pay a flat ee for a certain amount of time, and girls come and talk to you, and if you're there at a certain time, for a "show", they take their tops off and go around the room sitting on your lap doing whatever. You can grope them and stuff. Obviously it was my first time.( Read more... )

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Time on the Ship

Sun, 15 Aug 2010 03:20:57 GMT

I left Mayport on 10 August at 8am. I got into Japan on the 11th but by the time I got on the Essex, it was 1am on the 12th. So far, the people seem cool, but I am totally clueless on the ship and I have passed in uniform a few times. I know it's confusing for them (though no one's said anything)... So now I'm debating if I should grow my hair out more. I really don't want to, though... It's already getting pretty long and I want to get it cut, but I'm already getting weird looks in the female only berthing so maybe I'll just leave it. =/( Read more... )

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Multivitamin "For Women"

Wed, 07 Jul 2010 22:36:19 GMT

( [Personal intro] )

So I decided to get a multivitamin. Except that didn't work out too well because what I chose was an assortment of huge pills. Now I don't know about you, but I have a very hard time swallowing pills, let alone five huge ones every night. So I went back to GNC and asked for a liquid multivitamin, something akin to a meal replacement but not meant for losing weight. They only had one, and guess what it was? Women's Ultra Mega Active.

I've talked to other transguys in the past, they all say they are overcome with such huge grief when buying supplements and the like because they don't want to buy something for women. I used to feel exactly the same way. I went out of my way to find something not proclaiming gender or just buy the men's. I couldn't fathom what made our bodies so different that it warranted different ingredients. I always thought it was some marketing scheme set otu to genderize psuedo-pharmaceutical products.

I was with a co-worker at the time and in a revealing [female] uniform so I was't passing as male at all (plus i was on base). I didn't feel like getting the men's version because, well, I am not technically "a man" so without thinking I just bought what the GNC rep gave me.

I mean, I needed this afterall. I am suffering from exhaustion all the time currently and I can't up my PT(physical training) schedule without doing something about my pitiful nutrient intake first.

While a part of me sees this gigantic bottle of women's multivitamin on the counter and dies inside a bit, I can't also help but think. "I am a female. This is what my body needs to get better. Right?"
Does it?

I guess we'll see if the 30 bucks was worth it. And hey, I've got 4 years left in my contract. If it "feminizes" me then maybe I won't have to shave as much. That'd be something to look forward to, right? It's not like I need to worry about passing in the military.

Reminds me too much of Korn's "Trash".
Why do I have a conscience?
All it does is fuck with me.

I think sometimes we worry about stupid things just to make our lives more dramatic.

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About Me (and this blog)

Wed, 07 Jul 2010 15:36:57 GMT

I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to write my very first journal entry. I decided that maybe the best way would be to shatter your brain.

( Read more... )
This incredibly long explanation of the trans universe aside, I was born a female. I am currently 22 years old and enlisted into the United States Navy as a female. I have never taken any hormones, never been to a psychologist for my 'gender issues' and am generally lumped in with what is known as "pre-op"s. pre- [sex change] operation.
( Read more... )
I'm not exactly sure where I fall within that spectrum, so I have always referred to myself as simply androgyne.
When I was in college, I openly identified as such and dressed specifically to confuse people (I believe the word for that now is a genderfuck). I had convinced myself any type of surgery was impossible to achieve because no one would let me get what I wanted- basically a sexless body. I also never believed I'd have the money. Some time later I joined the military, and it was then I realized through massive amounts of 'net surfing and self discovery that, hey wait-- I can get this stuff done, and I will have enough money to do it [eventually].
( Read more... )
Regardless, this blog is a personal one. Just day to day dumb and probably emo stuff. Things that pretty much any transperson will go through, but with the added bonus/stress/entertainment of me not really being an FtM and my very real risk of being booted out of the military for being "psychologically unfit". Maybe people can help me somehow and my experiences will help other people.
( Read more... )
Thank you for your time and yes, unfortunately most of my entries are going to be this painfully long.

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