Transmilitant FtM Wannabe

Well apparently everyone is wondering whether I am a boy or a girl...
My small sect of male friends (who are my only current friends) seem to get a huge kick out of me being a "reverse trap" though they haven't actually used that particular wording. They just like trying to get me to ask a bunch of girls out and then oh "OHAY SHE'S GOT A VAG LOLOLOL". Which is... Yeah, funny... But... Makes me feel worse about my equipment since I have absolutely no desire to use it at all and am too afraid to go get a strap on or something.( Read more... )

( [Personal intro] )

So I decided to get a multivitamin. Except that didn't work out too well because what I chose was an assortment of huge pills. Now I don't know about you, but I have a very hard time swallowing pills, let alone five huge ones every night. So I went back to GNC and asked for a liquid multivitamin, something akin to a meal replacement but not meant for losing weight. They only had one, and guess what it was? Women's Ultra Mega Active.

I've talked to other transguys in the past, they all say they are overcome with such huge grief when buying supplements and the like because they don't want to buy something for women. I used to feel exactly the same way. I went out of my way to find something not proclaiming gender or just buy the men's. I couldn't fathom what made our bodies so different that it warranted different ingredients. I always thought it was some marketing scheme set otu to genderize psuedo-pharmaceutical products.

I was with a co-worker at the time and in a revealing [female] uniform so I was't passing as male at all (plus i was on base). I didn't feel like getting the men's version because, well, I am not technically "a man" so without thinking I just bought what the GNC rep gave me.

I mean, I needed this afterall. I am suffering from exhaustion all the time currently and I can't up my PT(physical training) schedule without doing something about my pitiful nutrient intake first.

While a part of me sees this gigantic bottle of women's multivitamin on the counter and dies inside a bit, I can't also help but think. "I am a female. This is what my body needs to get better. Right?"
Does it?

I guess we'll see if the 30 bucks was worth it. And hey, I've got 4 years left in my contract. If it "feminizes" me then maybe I won't have to shave as much. That'd be something to look forward to, right? It's not like I need to worry about passing in the military.

Reminds me too much of Korn's "Trash".
Why do I have a conscience?
All it does is fuck with me.

I think sometimes we worry about stupid things just to make our lives more dramatic.